Busy times....

Since my last post we have attended family functions, had family and friends stay with us, celebrated Kyla's 4th birthday with 2 parties in one day, and the biggest change for me was my return to work.  Me going to work has been a huge adjustment for all of us. When I come home, both girls screaming and wanting to be hugged.  Troy is doing pretty good, and was home with the girls for 2 days while I was away for work. I think that they have gotten into a nice groove.

When I am not around Lucy is fine, but the moment I come home I have to manage giving the girls equal attention.  At the end of the day when both of the girls are tired it's tough.  Lucy does not want to share me with Kyla or her dad.  The pushing, yelling, tears and anger often happens between the girls when Kyla wants to be held or hugged and Lucy wants the same.  Of course the challenges for Kyla getting used to having a sibling in the house is hard on her.  Lucy needed a ton of love and attention right at the beginning and now the attention needs to be balanced.  So only 5% of the time you have to keep a close eye on Lucy as she tries to hurt her sister, and Kyla will retaliate.  I would say that most of the time the girls get along well and show the love with hugs and kisses with each other.  Kyla takes her sister's hand and guides her along and teaches her things.  When they are sweet together it melts your heart.  Most people say this is normal behaviour between siblings, which may be true, but the adjustment and how they came together for both the girls is not normal so it's important to remember that.

Lucy is doing well.  She is still a great eater but does not eat as much as the first 7 weeks, it's almost as if she had to catch up and get used to having lots of food around.  She stops eating when she is full now. Lucy loves milk "ilk" and asks for it all day. She takes you to the fridge if you don't get it.  I am sure she has gained weight and gotten taller.  Need to measure this so I can compare to her measurements that were done in Bejing over 2 months ago.

Lucy is staring to say a few more words, she definitely understands a lot of what we are saying but still uses her facial expressions to let us know how she is feeling.  We actually don't have big concerns about her speech development yet as she is so happy and active.  Her huge facial expressions are awesome.  I think she has managed to use this as a way of communicating for a long time. Lucy is doing pretty good considering she is learning English and it's not even been 3 months yet.

The area where we live has an amazing Community program that we have been taking advantage of.  I met a comunity nurse who has helped us set up a few programs and she is a great resource for finding a family doctor and dentist in the area.  The girls already had their first dentist appointment and Lucy got caught up on vaccinations. Her poor little arms, they did 5 shots in one day. Brave girl. We still need to make an appointment for a full medical check-up, recommended as one of the first things you do when you get back.

Lucy has been going swimming twice a week and is busy with taking her sister to pre-school 3 times a week. We took our first trip to Victoria for 1 night and then Troy took the girls up island for a few days while I headed back to work. They had fun visiting family and meeting Troy's sister's family. We are blessed with lots of cousin's for the girls.

It's hard so hard to believe that Lucy has only been in our family for less than 3 months. It just feels like she has been with us forever.  We are so in love with this little person and she is still so sweet and loving. She is cuddly, loves kisses, hugs and affection.  We are lucky that she has accepted us as her family.  

Other stuff

There were certain things that I did not blog about over the past 2 months:

• when Lucy is sleepy and putting herself to sleep she likes to put some type of fabric over her face, from her sleeve or her from her pj`s.  She breaths heavy into the fabric to create warmth and this calms her so that shortly after, she is asleep.
• When Lucy gets laughing she gets the hiccups.
• The top restaurants we went to: Shanghai - soup dumpling place in Old Shanghai; Nanchang - dumpling place in the same building as Walmart (outside entrance on the corner); the Chinese restaurant at Galactic Peace hotel; Beijing - Duck de Chine
• The week we were in Nanchang, I had 4 companies contact me for potential job opportunities.  After one skype interview at 7 am in the hotel lobby, I realized that I had to stop answering emails and the phone.  It was not the right thing to do as my head space was so far from looking for work.  Since returning home, I have interviewed with 4 companies and started work this week.  Troy and I both knew that whoever found a job first would be the one to start working and the other would take care of the girls and get Lucy settled.  I think we were both in shock when it happened so quickly, but then I guess it`s all about the right timing.  I have not worked in 10 months and have thoroughly enjoyed being a full time mum.  What a gift it was for me as I have really enjoyed my time with Kyla.  Lucy is doing so well and we feel good about it.  I am lucky to have Troy stay with the girls, he will do a great job and build a special bond with them.  I have gone through the worrying over this, but then I think that is only normal and expected.  I will miss the girls tremendously.  My office will have wall to wall pics of the girls.  I have become one of those obsessed mums.
• I am starting to feel like I should wrap up this blog.  I admire those who post regularly and continue the story back home.  I just don't think I can do it.  I will continue to send family and friends my picasa albums to show off the girls growing up.  I want to stop at the end of this month....this is my goal.

Lucy update - one month home

We had both forgotten what it was like to have a 2 year old in the house....

• curiosity over how many pairs of shoes they can try on
• food throwing
• tantrums over things that they do not understand or when you take something away from them
• crazy efforts trying to dress themselves
• wearing the layers of clothes for fun, I like the underwear over pants look best, we call her captain underpants
• giggles and smiles
• running around the shopping mall just to tire them out
• gets upset when eating as she wants to be the one feeding herself
• toilet training
• learning how to walk down stair is a dangerous venture
• if nap time is missed things get messy

Lucy is eating really well and is willing to eat whatever we are eating.  I don't make congee as often, but do it just as a comfort food for her.  There have been no issues with milk, she actually loves it and we are relieved as she loves yogurt and cheese.  When there is a green veg on her plate she eats that up first and red peppers are a great snack.

The sisterly love is getting way better.  Kyla is starting to try to help Lucy and is sharing toys.  Kisses and hugs have been shared.  They giggle together and Lucy wants to copy her big sister in everything, good and not so great behaviour.  Whatever one gets the other has to have the same, right away or there are tears and unhappy screams.

Once in a while though Lucy and Kyla get jealous at the same time and it's not fun to manage the conflict and potential tears and screaming.  Nothing major, we just know that Lucy needed to probably defend herself from the other kids at the Institute.  Kyla growls at her sister, Lucy copies!

Lucy has a love for dogs, we were so happy and surprised.  She just loves Kirby, our dog and was so gentle and wanted to pet, hug and kiss him.  Lucy pets the plastic donation guide dogs in the stores.

Lucy is napping well, we just need to lay her down in our bed till she falls asleep and then we can leave her for 1 - 2.5 hours.  She is still a light sleeper so her sleep can be interrupted easily.  She also passes out in the car if we are out, that is good.  At night we bring her to her room, read stories, listen to some soothing music and then she falls asleep.  We adjusted her crib to a day bed so she is no longer afraid to sleep in it.  We need to sneak out, she sleeps for about 4-5 hours and then wakes up crying.  She does not want to be alone.  I am sure she shared her bed and her room with other kids and is used to the sounds and warmth of others.  Lucy sleeps through the night if she is in our bed.  

Pictures back home

Pictures from around the neighborhood, celebrating Chinese New Year and Tết Nguyên Đán, and hanging out with friends and family over the past 4 weeks.

One month ago today....

It really is amazing that only one month has gone by since we first held Lucy in our arms.  I could not imagine life without her now, but yet the memories of January 6, 2013 will be in our hearts forever.  Lucy has changed so much and the scared little one from 4 weeks ago is blossoming into a happy, fun, curious and smiley toddler.  She is lovely and warms your heart when she giggles and flashes you  smiles.

Lucy is settling well in her new home.  She enjoys all the toys and books in the house, loves the stairs, and spends lots of time exploring the rooms.  Lucy's routine starts with waking up around 8 am, breakfast shortly after, play time, snack, play time, lunch around 12, nap for 2 - 3 hours (unless we are out then it is a short cat nap), snack, playtime, dinner at 6, snack, bath and bed time.  Bath time is one of her favorite times now.  As you can see Lucy likes to snack, whatever we give her she eats and likes to copy what her sister has.  Yesterday it was a fight over a small baggie full of carrot sticks and the other day a freak out over salt and vinegar chips!  You can tell when Lucy is sleepy as her cranky mood sets in. Lucy gets about 11 hours sleep at night so I think she is doing well.

I would say that our 1st week back was about beating the jet lag, waking up in the middle of the night to eat and play.  Week 2 was not a great week as it was all about being sick and high fevers.  Week 3 is about trying to get into a routine.  I think we are doing pretty well.  Kyla is settling into her 3 day a week pre-school, its for 4 hours a day and its good for her to go somewhere to play and learn.  The teachers are awesome and she loves it.  We also went swimming as a family and it was fun.  Lucy loved the pool and soaking her feet in the hot tub most.

Today I got Kyla to her pre-school by 9 am and Lucy and I headed off to the local Family Place (community center for little ones) which is awesome for her.  She can play with and around other kids her age and participate in the story time.  Lucy loves being out and you can see how she is around new faces and strangers, she only plays shy for 5 minutes then happily plays and smiles at all the people around her.

We have visited with family in friends over that past week and Lucy has done really well.  She knows she is getting special attention and eats it up.  She is now going to a select group of people and is ok if she wanders away from me and Troy for a few minutes.  Lucy is recognizing uncles, aunts and cousins.  She is doing well in large crowds, which is a good thing as we have a huge family that likes to get together often, to eat food!

This picture is of the girls heading out for pre-school and Family Place.

 Dinner time fun!

Family and Friends:

My rock

As I have posted over the past 6 weeks from my point of view on our experience, I wanted to share how I did not do this trip on my own.  I want to dedicate this one to Troy.

For those have gone through this type of trip you know that it is a life changing event, emotions are heightened, there are many unexpected or uncomfortable moments, your are jet lagged, your food intake is out of whack, you miss your own bed, and at times you lose it.  What I have been reminded of during this trip is that my husband is pretty awesome.  I already knew that as we have been together for over 20 years, but I realized how great we really are as a team in this type of life changing event.

Troy was there for me when I was not sane or strong enough, kept me calm when I was unraveling, and he is a great daddy to both of the girls.  We just jumped into parenting 2 kids instead of 1 overnight and we did pretty great balancing the needs of both girls.

I am so grateful to have a great husband.

Lucy is better and our goal with going into week #3 of being home is that we get into a schedule.

Sickness

It has not been a good week.  Lucy had a fever for 6 days with cough and is getting better. Two visits to the doc and lots of Tylenol then Advil later, she is now on antibiotics.  It is tough as you know her immune system is probably low and the travel and changes are taking a toll on her.

At least she is starting to move about a bit, though prefers to be held.

I was sick as well and now Kyla is feeling under the weather.  At least she is not hit as hard as Lucy.

Lucy is starting to say a few more words, mama, dada for sure and is trying to copy other words.  She understands phrases like, go give this to dada. She waves bye bye when people are leaving.  We are reading to her at night and she gets to watch the shows that Kyla likes.  When she is feeling better we can focus on a few words a day.