Sickness

It has not been a good week.  Lucy had a fever for 6 days with cough and is getting better. Two visits to the doc and lots of Tylenol then Advil later, she is now on antibiotics.  It is tough as you know her immune system is probably low and the travel and changes are taking a toll on her.

At least she is starting to move about a bit, though prefers to be held.

I was sick as well and now Kyla is feeling under the weather.  At least she is not hit as hard as Lucy.

Lucy is starting to say a few more words, mama, dada for sure and is trying to copy other words.  She understands phrases like, go give this to dada. She waves bye bye when people are leaving.  We are reading to her at night and she gets to watch the shows that Kyla likes.  When she is feeling better we can focus on a few words a day.

Big sister report

If I were Kyla this is what she might say about her little sister.

• I like the idea of having a little sister
• I care about her and want to kiss and hug her but sometimes she pushes me away
• I like making my sister laugh, coz when I laugh she laughs with me.  And when I cry, she copies that too
• I don't like it when she copies me sometimes
• I don't like her playing with some of my favourite toys so my mama and dada told me to hide these toys in my room and close my door so Lucy can't get to it
• I like to take a bath with her because we both play for a long time
• I want to sit on mama's lap too but Lucy is usually there
• I get angry when Lucy gets in my way
• I like screaming really loud with my sister, it is fun and mama and dada don't like it very much so it's funny
• I like howling with my sister when we pretend to be doggies
• I get jealous sometimes but I know mama and dada love me to the moon and back

Lucy loves to dance

There are so many things that we are discovering about our little girl.

She hears music and she moves to the beat with a happy smile.  Lucy Loves it when baba waltzes with her and spins around the room.

She is not afraid of the toilet, and is happy to spend the time with me singing her songs while she sits on the potty.

She does love the bath now.  A few days ago our first attempt was slow, Lucy watched Kyla in the tub for a few minutes before I could wet her hands, then let her sit on the edge of the tub with pj top on, then step in.  Yup she bathed with top on, but we got her at least standing and playing for 20 minutes.  Tonight she screamed when I pulled her out, she was starting to wrinkle.

She gets jealous of her sister when we are holding Kyla and she wants to be held. She will push, bite and punch, which I think she had to do at the Institute with the other kids.

She loves Cheerios, but which baby does not.

She has slept in her crib only twice and the rest of the time she would rather fall asleep in our arms and it's tough to put her down in the crib as she startles and wakes up.

She has visited with some aunts, uncles and cousins and warms up with the women quite quickly, the guys are not having any luck.  I guess it's because she has not had a lot of men in her life and plenty of females caring for her.  Now there is a contest and I need to find a prize for the first man in the family that Lucy will go to.  Don't worry, nobody is forcing the situation and all the guys are being very respectful.  It's cute as all they wanna do is love her. I do have to be aware though that every time one of the women who have carried her leave she gets a bit upset. I don't want to be over sensitive but I need to keep an eye on this.

She has been eating really well and already I see a change with her skin and small pot belly forming.  Congee with veg and protein (whatever we are eating) has been a daily staple but I think that she would rather feed herself.  I gave her a bowl with ice cream and a spoon tonight and she went to town.  We will have a few messy meals ahead of us, it will be fun.

She has been out and about accompanying big sister at her gymnastics and ballet this week and has travelled well.  No issues with the car seat or stroller.

She likes to sleep in our bed and when she wakes up she reaches over to her sleeping baba and kisses him and snuggles.  We are both so amazed with the affection she is showing us, how can you be mad with being wakened by kisses in the middle of the night.

She wakes in the morning with the sweetest smiles and hugs.

Overall a great week and we are heads over heels in love with this little person who has joined our family.

Ahhhh home

After an uneventful flight, kids got 4-5 hours sleep, Troy and I were uncomfortable, time seemed to tick along slowly.  Usually happens when you want to be home so bad. Overall the kids were great and we were happy to see Siw and the boys at the airport to greet us with Canadian flags.  I had to work hard to hold back the tears.

Walt picked us up and we were enjoying a home cooked meal thanks to Haydee and Mimi.

Sunday and Monday were a blurr and with the kids both wide awake and hungry between 2 and 5 am, it was fun trying to keep sane.  They were waking up at around 1pm!  It's been six days now and we are much better.  Both kids wake up in the middle of the night, but stay in bed with lights off.  The trick was that once you can get 3 meals in during the day, the chances of hunger in the middle of the night were lessened.  Troy and I have been doing pretty good attending to calls in the night and usually end up sleeping with one kid each.

Lucy has slept in her crib a few times, but prefers to fall asleep in your arms, nuzzled into our neck and does not want to be put in her crib.  She almost needs to be asleep for 2 hours before you can slip away.  Then she sleeps lightly so any movement or noise she will wake and toss and turn for a few hours.  Tonight I took Wahlee's advice and laid out a thick quilt on the floor, where I layed with her till she dosed off.  Strange how she does not wake when I cough violently, but the moment I try to move her she scrambles to get back on top of me and whimpers till she falls asleep again.  At this point I can not let her cry for more than a minute.  She gets so upset when it looks like we are going to leave her room without her.

Other than that we have a happy little girl who is discovering so much this week.  Like a telephone and how a voice can come out of it, and how it beeps when you push buttons.  Lucy loves all the toys and space she has now.  OK we have safe guarded with baby gates as she loves the stairs and has not quite mastered crawling down backwards, she prefers to walk straight down without knowing that she will roll at the speed she goes.

Farewell China

There were definitely moments where I thought about Lucy leaving China, that we are taking her away from her homeland to start her life in her new country.

We are grateful for Lucy and that our wait for her was absolutely worth it.  There are no regrets.  I however think about her birth mum and know that it was a tough decision for her to leave Lucy almost 2 years ago.  I am grateful for this precious gift, but in the same breath sad for her loss.  I read a book last November that has helped me better understand what some mothers from China have gone through in making these decisions.  "Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love", by Xinran.  One quote that stands out, The mother’s of girls are all heartsick....Yes I was in tears to learn the stories of what these women have had to endure.

I want to somehow send Lucy's birth mum a message through an angel to let her know......that her baby will be safe and loved.

Thanks China for a great trip.  We will be back.

Last Day in China

Yesterday we were at the Silk Market for a bit of shopping and out for a wonderful celebratory Peking duck dinner at http://www.elite-concepts.com/Promotions/1949/DuckDeChine.htm Duck de Chine.  It was an amazing meal in a very beautiful restaurant, ok it could have been really romantic but with 2 kids you almost have to laugh when the restaurant staff graciously start replacing the fine china and duck ornaments on the table with cute plastic plates and cups for the kids.  The kids ate well, but had to do a few laps in the restaurant to burn off energy, thank goodness it is such a large space.  The duck was heavenly and we would recommend this highly as a must go to place.  We really enjoyed it and welcomed the fantastic food.

It's 3:30 am the day we leave and I can't sleep.  Our trip is almost over and I am really looking forward to being home.  We miss the comforts of our cozy place and look forward to getting into a schedule with the two kiddies.  The stress of being in a hotel is getting to all of us.  We don't want Lucy thinking that this is the norm!  We definitely could have come home 2 days ago, but have just tried to enjoy our relaxing pace in Beijing focusing on us as a family unit.

Yesterday Kyla finally verbalized that the most great thing about coming to China was Lucy.  But later on in the day she said, mama, Lucy always wants to hold your hand and I want to hold your hand too.  I miss you mama.  When Lucy irritates Kyla we have tried to explain to her that Lucy does not understand English yet and that she is a baby and needs to learn a lot from her.  It will be interesting to watch how their sisterly relationship forms in the next few years.

Lucy's progress has been great.  She is so sweet and loves to smile.  I can see why people think she is shy, as when people catch her attention and she does not want to get eye contact she turns her head so as to say, you don't get to see me smile.  But really most of the time she has this great big smile that is contagious and this sweetness about her that is hard to describe.  When she is tired she nuzzles her head into your chest and falls asleep.  Lucy has grown attached to this white bear we bought her for Christmas and holds it as she falls asleep.  When she wants more food she says "neh" loudly so you know that she means business.  She has begun to mimicking certain sounds and words.  Definitely understands "up".   We noticed that when Chinese people talk to her she does not reply, maybe her way to say, I don't know you so all you will get is this blank stare. She is eating less congee and loves trying food out, of course typical of a 2 year old, if she does not like it she spits it out.  She loved the duck last night!  Lucy loves to walk and I have to share her old person stance as she walks with her hands behind her back, she must have picked this up from the seniors at the Institute. Along with the nasal clearing noise sound she makes!  Thank goodness she does not follow it up with the actual horking.

Well I better try to get back to sleep. It's only 4 am. Next Post will be back home in a few days. Not really looking forward to a long flight, but we hope the kids keep their China sleep schedule tonight, that would just be great!

We have so much to be thankful for and embrace that this is where our path in life was going to take us. We are truly blessed.

Lucy is a Canadian Citizen!

Done!  All we have to do is fill out one more form back home, receive her citizenship certificate and apply for her passport.  Way easier this time around.  All we have to do is ensure that when Lucy has a kid of her own, that her child is born in Canada to grant that child automatic citizenship or else that child MAY not have citizenship or belong to any country.

Today we went shopping at the Pearl Market.  Only got into one physical moment with a sales lady who wanted me to sell a Louis Vuitton wallet.  She grabbed my arm and the stroller and said come on lady I will give you a great price, after 5 minutes of me telling her I didn't want one, she let me go.  Troy just stood there and laughed as I was man handled.  I was laughing too so it was kinda funny.  There was zero respect for personal space, this would not fly back home and it would be physical harassment!  ;)

Random pics of the girls

Bad air in Beijing

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57564051/nasa-releases-images-of-beijing-air-pollution/

Well I have been told by a few people that it was bad, but man were we surprised to learn how bad it really is.

Now we're will make a huge effort to stay in doors. How come I am feeling so stuffed up and yucky all of a sudden.

Last of official requirements complete

Yesterday we boarded the oversized van with another Canadian couple and their baby from the same agency at 9 am to go to the medical clinic for Lucy's check up.   This process is not required for the Citizenship route, but we wanted to get it done anyway so that we could make sure she is ok and that there is nothing to be concerned about.  The doctors office was fully decked out with toys so both girls enjoyed our visit.

Lucy was measured and weighed and she is 10.5 kg. so she has gained weight since her last medical check.  Hard to really confirm how much as they may have weighed her with clothes, but for sure 3 lbs in 6 months.

The doctor noted: developmental milestones - slightly delayed motor skills; small bald spot on scalp; slightly congested nasal mucus (boogers) but otherwise the doctor noted that Lucy was doing well and shows to be attached to us already.  Lucy is just above the 15th percentile for her age based on the WHO Child Growth Standards.  It will be interesting to see how much this changes in the next 6 months and years to come.  She eats really well so I am not that concerned, we just need to get home and feed her lots of protein!

The doc was lovely and very gentle with Lucy, spoke to her in mandarin and just made us feel at ease.  Yes she is Filipina.

The next appointment of the day was to the Canadian Embassy.  Troy went in with all the required docs and 45 minutes later was done.  We pick up Lucy's visa on Wednesday afternoon and we are done.  WOW I am relieved and surprised.  The process for Vietname just seemed so much more stressful.  Or maybe because we have done this before, we were so much more relaxed and really the guides have done a lot of the work to make sure we had everything in place.

So now we have 3.5 days to check out the rest of Beijing and chill out.  Lucy has a running nose and is sneezing lots so we should make sure she gets her rest.  No more missing her naps.

Yay Lucy slept in her crib last night!

Beijing sites - part 1

Our first day was spent at the Great Wall and the Summer Place.  We decided to use a service with hotel because travelling with 2 kids under 4 on a tour bus all day would not be that pleasant.

http://www.mutianyugreatwall.net/. This is where we went for our bucket list experience.  A couple of notes to add, the chair lift experience holding a child is scary and not very safe.  Probably the most unsafe thing I have done with a kid in my arms.  If you are afraid of heights and your kid likes to squirm, don't do the lift.  The experience was truly amazing, but a challenge with a 2 year old who is not stable on her feet and a 4 year old who wants to run but is hindered by the uneven steps on a steep climb or decent.  It's winter time here so it was not clear and the wall was icy and slippery in a lot of the spots. So next time we come the kids will be 12  and 14 and they can go wild!  The wall is one of the most amazing things we have seen and look forward to our next trip when we can take better advantage of its splendour.  Maybe in the spring or fall? ;)

http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/880 Absolutely beautiful!  But dang cold.  The lake was frozen and though there were of signs saying "stay off the Ice". There must have been 200 some people walking, skating, playing in the middle of the lake.  We were only there for 1 hour, but really that is all we could take as we're were all freezing.

Progress Report on Lucy

So it's been one week since that amazing meeting in a hotel lobby when we first set our eyes on Lucy.  Some call this the "gotcha day".  I just replayed the video that Troy took and I wanted to share with you what the orphanage director had told us last week.

Daily Schedule:
5:30 am wake up
7:00 porridge
11:30 rice
12:00 to 3:00 nap
3:30 milk in a cup
5:30 rice
8:00 milk
9:00 sleep

Other info:

• She is shy, timid, healthy.  Sleeps in her crib all by herself.  Not attached to anyone specific.  
• Does not see her foster mum anymore.  This is the family she spent 17 months of her life with.  We actually got the foster mums name, so I can send a thank you card and some pictures of Lucy.
• Lucy says night night, these are her only words in Mandarin
• She likes watching tv with the other children and is very accustomed to being with other kids
• Lucy is not happy when she is hungry or when other kids tease or bug her
• She uses the potty and the word to use is nieow nieow to let her know
• Lucy was the last non special needs child at Yingtan Social Welfare Institute.  The reason why it is called an institute is because the place houses senior citizens and orphans.

Our observations during the first few days:
Lucy did not have strong legs, she needed help to stand up and always wanted to hang on to something or someone while standing.  She was unsteady with her stride, really hesitant. Lucy's preference one week ago was to be carried and held by her mama.

We gave her milk twice and both times she vomited.  We have stopped with the milk and are giving her lots of water.  I need to get a hold of our guide in Nanchang to ask what he were giving her.  We will just try out the milk back home.  No need to buy formula here that is not available at home.

Lucy would continue eating till we stopped shovelling food into her. She was eating everything we gave her.  I am sure there are a lot of new things she has eaten this week for the first time since the hotel buffet offers a great variety.  Her favourite is congee and can eat a whole banana.  She drank a lot of water.

She screamed when we put her on the baby potty.  So after day two I stopped.  Plus with all the appointments we had it was tough to put her on there every 2 hours. Changing her nappy and clothes was not a great thing at the beginning as I am sure in the orphanage this did not happen often because of the cold.  Now she can be in a diaper on the bed and likes it.
  Bath time was not a happy time at all.  She is terrified of the bath. We were told that baths do not happen often in the winter.

She did not want us to take off her jacket or any layers when we went into the hotel room at the beginning. But there is no issue now.

Lucy only wanted to be held by me at the beginning. But now willingly goes to her baba. Lucy's sounds at the beginning of the week was "ooh" which was a way to say look. Today she is making a lot of baby noises typical of a 1 year old. I even heard dada dada today.
Kyla and Lucy.....well it's very cute when Lucy copies Kyla. But sometimes the big sister does not like that. I love it when they giggle together. Kyla is having a tough time with adjusting to a sister at times. I am sure this will take time and will be better once we have more space in hour home.

Phone gone!

You parents know what it is like when you have two kids asleep as you land and you have way too many carry on luggage and the attendants are not helpful, they just hand you stuff like, get the heck off my plane.

Yup iPhone gone! @&$(/?$!

Sites in Nanchang

We spent the last 2 days in Nanchang checking out the sights and waiting for Notarized Adoption documentation and Lucy's Chinese passport. Things we will need for the Canadian Citizenship Visa application in Beijing and for Lucy to leave China she will leave with her Chinese passport and enter Canada with the Visa.

We went to the Youmin Temple on Thursday and it was beautiful.  Hard to believe that in the middle of this busy and polluted city of 4 million people is this peaceful place.  We started walking back and realized we may as well go the whole way, we got our 1.5 hour walk in and the kids fell asleep in their strollers.

On Friday we got up to go to the Tengwang Pavilion.  I was on a mission to go get Lucy's Chinese name in Calligraphy and to pick up porcelain as this is what Jiangxi Province is known for.  This will be for Lucy when she gets older, a little something from the Province she was born in.  Mission accomplished and the Pavilion was worth it as the kids got to run around.

We got back to the hotel by 12:30 in time for lunch and packing.  We were picked up by 3:30 and at the airport by 5:00 all checked in.  Bad timing for the fact that Lucy did not nap and the airport was so dang hot, we were over heating in our layers. We're trying to be ready for the colder Beijing weather.

Flight was 2 hours, dinner served and there was a lovely young lady beside me that wanted to hold Lucy which was great!  Troy was across the aisle with Kyla.  She held Lucy for about 30 minutes and Lucy was very content.  This got me a bit worried as for a minute I was sad to think she could go to anyone.  I was relieved when she started crying and reached out to me. She knows me.

Wow Beijing is amazing and so new looking, massive buildings and impressive strip where we are.  We took the #2 Ring road exit and at the Novotel 10 minutes walk away from Forbidden City.

We were exhausted by the time we got into our hotel room.  Good thing we had the Children's Advil last night. Lucy had a real high fever.  It was a tough day for her and the first time for her to take a flight.  You could tell she was scared in our new hotel room. She is better today and got a good nap in.

Sisters!

It was so great to witness the two of them laughing together yesterday, it just warms your heart.  They were both being silly and thought they were funny.  Lucy is starting to laugh at Kyla too which is great, as you know Kyla can be pretty silly at times.

There were a couple of times where I was holding Lucy and Kyla wanted a hug, Lucy pushed Kyla away.  Oh dear.  Kyla is being sweet too, when Lucy was crying and I was trying to slip my jacket off, Kyla grabbed my hand and led me to Lucy and said, mama, Lucy is sad, go make her feel better.

There was sun yesterday so we took advantage and went exploring.  It has been the warmest day since we arrived in China.  Funny thing is that we had two strollers, two kids and just like that it hit me!  We have grown our family!  You might think this is strange, but these moments are big in the adoption experience. You are in a foreign country, no one speaks English, ordering a meal is challenging, finding a decent restaurant is tough, you are cooped up in a hotel room, you are eating 3 meals a day out with one very active child, she is going bonkers and needs to run around in a park and misses her stuff and her room, you are living out of 4 suitcases, your only daily contacts are other families who are going through the same stuff and my outlet is this blog.  Sometimes moments like eating a McDonald's cone and stopping for 5 minutes on a busy street is when it hits you.

Pictures coming I promise.  I have misplaced my camera case with cord in our room.  This is our last full day in Nanchang so I better get our suitcases in order.  Maybe I will find my camera case!

Grief

Yesterday was Day 4 for Lucy being with us and she is experiencing so many new things.

This picture was taken on January 7, the second day with us. The day she became Lucy Madeleine.

Last night Lucy was having a tough time falling asleep.  It's as though she wanted to stay awake so that she could control her life and the changes around her.  She did not want me to hold her but wanted to sit on my stomach as we lay in bed so she could make sure I was there. She cried and the the cry was pure grief, she has lost a lot this week and feels the pain.  How do we tell this sweet child that it's ok to feel sad and that we will love her forever.

I will let her fall asleep in my arms for as long as she needs.

Three degrees of Lucy's smile

Yesterday was a better day.  Though there were moments of "don't leave, I'm scared" and "i don't want to go back in our hotel room", and " i don"t wanna use the potty",  " NO way in heck am i going in that bath tub", and "mama I don't want baba to hold me" it was mostly a day where Lucy showed her sweet, giggly side.  All I had to do was be silly and she ate it up.

Smile 1 - I will give you a straight smile and not show you any teeth coz I am holding back.

Smile 2 - I will show you some teeth but not a full smile coz I am still holding back, but my eyes are smiling

Smile 3 - I will giggle, show full smile and all my teeth.  Life is good!

Lucy does not have words yet, but does make noises to show discontent.  Her loud squeak is I DON'T LIKE THAT!

I remember when we got Kyla that out of no practice holding a 4 month old all day, my muscles in by back and arms were killing me after a few days.  With a new born you build up those muscles as the baby grows.  Well the same thing happened yesterday as my guess is she is about 22 to 24 lbs and wants to be held by me quite a bit.  She played strange with Troy a few times yesterday and just screamed.   We tried switching off a bit yesterday so I could spend more time with Kyla and Troy could connect with Lucy, but when walking the streets and your baby is screaming like you have just hurt her, well this is not good.  Plus it really puts Lucy in a state.  She knows what she is doing coz the moment she is back in my arms, she is smiling again.

Kyla's adjustment to having a little sister is slow.  As Lucy is not as mobile in the hotel room, Kyla plays around her.  Kyla covers her ear when Lucy cries and she yells TOO LOUD!  Bath time together is not fun yet as Lucy is terrified of the bath.  Kyla wants to sit on my lap at the same time as Lucy to share her mama.

We have met a few other families that are staying in the same hotel.  We are all going through different stages of discovery with our new babies and all have a history with adoption.  Sharing the stories is comforting as we all have different reasons why we are here.  One amazing family has had 9 kids, 5 biological and this is their 4th adoption.  I can see why, they are loving people who have room in their lives and hearts to provide love and support to these waiting list of kids of China.

Kyla has made friends with a little girl Sophie who is 8.  They are so cute together.

Yesterday we spent the morning at the People's Park with our guide.  It was good to get out of the hotel room and get some air.  Kyla did her best to play in the parks which was mostly busy with adults doing the exercise and dancing.  Lucy walks as long as she is holding on to our finger.  Her legs are not as strong as they should be so wants the comfort of balance.

We went to Walmart and Troy's comment was...this would do so great in Richmond.  It was awesome.

I will post some great pictures later.