Busy times....

Since my last post we have attended family functions, had family and friends stay with us, celebrated Kyla's 4th birthday with 2 parties in one day, and the biggest change for me was my return to work.  Me going to work has been a huge adjustment for all of us. When I come home, both girls screaming and wanting to be hugged.  Troy is doing pretty good, and was home with the girls for 2 days while I was away for work. I think that they have gotten into a nice groove.

When I am not around Lucy is fine, but the moment I come home I have to manage giving the girls equal attention.  At the end of the day when both of the girls are tired it's tough.  Lucy does not want to share me with Kyla or her dad.  The pushing, yelling, tears and anger often happens between the girls when Kyla wants to be held or hugged and Lucy wants the same.  Of course the challenges for Kyla getting used to having a sibling in the house is hard on her.  Lucy needed a ton of love and attention right at the beginning and now the attention needs to be balanced.  So only 5% of the time you have to keep a close eye on Lucy as she tries to hurt her sister, and Kyla will retaliate.  I would say that most of the time the girls get along well and show the love with hugs and kisses with each other.  Kyla takes her sister's hand and guides her along and teaches her things.  When they are sweet together it melts your heart.  Most people say this is normal behaviour between siblings, which may be true, but the adjustment and how they came together for both the girls is not normal so it's important to remember that.

Lucy is doing well.  She is still a great eater but does not eat as much as the first 7 weeks, it's almost as if she had to catch up and get used to having lots of food around.  She stops eating when she is full now. Lucy loves milk "ilk" and asks for it all day. She takes you to the fridge if you don't get it.  I am sure she has gained weight and gotten taller.  Need to measure this so I can compare to her measurements that were done in Bejing over 2 months ago.

Lucy is staring to say a few more words, she definitely understands a lot of what we are saying but still uses her facial expressions to let us know how she is feeling.  We actually don't have big concerns about her speech development yet as she is so happy and active.  Her huge facial expressions are awesome.  I think she has managed to use this as a way of communicating for a long time. Lucy is doing pretty good considering she is learning English and it's not even been 3 months yet.

The area where we live has an amazing Community program that we have been taking advantage of.  I met a comunity nurse who has helped us set up a few programs and she is a great resource for finding a family doctor and dentist in the area.  The girls already had their first dentist appointment and Lucy got caught up on vaccinations. Her poor little arms, they did 5 shots in one day. Brave girl. We still need to make an appointment for a full medical check-up, recommended as one of the first things you do when you get back.

Lucy has been going swimming twice a week and is busy with taking her sister to pre-school 3 times a week. We took our first trip to Victoria for 1 night and then Troy took the girls up island for a few days while I headed back to work. They had fun visiting family and meeting Troy's sister's family. We are blessed with lots of cousin's for the girls.

It's hard so hard to believe that Lucy has only been in our family for less than 3 months. It just feels like she has been with us forever.  We are so in love with this little person and she is still so sweet and loving. She is cuddly, loves kisses, hugs and affection.  We are lucky that she has accepted us as her family.  

Other stuff

There were certain things that I did not blog about over the past 2 months:

• when Lucy is sleepy and putting herself to sleep she likes to put some type of fabric over her face, from her sleeve or her from her pj`s.  She breaths heavy into the fabric to create warmth and this calms her so that shortly after, she is asleep.
• When Lucy gets laughing she gets the hiccups.
• The top restaurants we went to: Shanghai - soup dumpling place in Old Shanghai; Nanchang - dumpling place in the same building as Walmart (outside entrance on the corner); the Chinese restaurant at Galactic Peace hotel; Beijing - Duck de Chine
• The week we were in Nanchang, I had 4 companies contact me for potential job opportunities.  After one skype interview at 7 am in the hotel lobby, I realized that I had to stop answering emails and the phone.  It was not the right thing to do as my head space was so far from looking for work.  Since returning home, I have interviewed with 4 companies and started work this week.  Troy and I both knew that whoever found a job first would be the one to start working and the other would take care of the girls and get Lucy settled.  I think we were both in shock when it happened so quickly, but then I guess it`s all about the right timing.  I have not worked in 10 months and have thoroughly enjoyed being a full time mum.  What a gift it was for me as I have really enjoyed my time with Kyla.  Lucy is doing so well and we feel good about it.  I am lucky to have Troy stay with the girls, he will do a great job and build a special bond with them.  I have gone through the worrying over this, but then I think that is only normal and expected.  I will miss the girls tremendously.  My office will have wall to wall pics of the girls.  I have become one of those obsessed mums.
• I am starting to feel like I should wrap up this blog.  I admire those who post regularly and continue the story back home.  I just don't think I can do it.  I will continue to send family and friends my picasa albums to show off the girls growing up.  I want to stop at the end of this month....this is my goal.

Lucy update - one month home

We had both forgotten what it was like to have a 2 year old in the house....

• curiosity over how many pairs of shoes they can try on
• food throwing
• tantrums over things that they do not understand or when you take something away from them
• crazy efforts trying to dress themselves
• wearing the layers of clothes for fun, I like the underwear over pants look best, we call her captain underpants
• giggles and smiles
• running around the shopping mall just to tire them out
• gets upset when eating as she wants to be the one feeding herself
• toilet training
• learning how to walk down stair is a dangerous venture
• if nap time is missed things get messy

Lucy is eating really well and is willing to eat whatever we are eating.  I don't make congee as often, but do it just as a comfort food for her.  There have been no issues with milk, she actually loves it and we are relieved as she loves yogurt and cheese.  When there is a green veg on her plate she eats that up first and red peppers are a great snack.

The sisterly love is getting way better.  Kyla is starting to try to help Lucy and is sharing toys.  Kisses and hugs have been shared.  They giggle together and Lucy wants to copy her big sister in everything, good and not so great behaviour.  Whatever one gets the other has to have the same, right away or there are tears and unhappy screams.

Once in a while though Lucy and Kyla get jealous at the same time and it's not fun to manage the conflict and potential tears and screaming.  Nothing major, we just know that Lucy needed to probably defend herself from the other kids at the Institute.  Kyla growls at her sister, Lucy copies!

Lucy has a love for dogs, we were so happy and surprised.  She just loves Kirby, our dog and was so gentle and wanted to pet, hug and kiss him.  Lucy pets the plastic donation guide dogs in the stores.

Lucy is napping well, we just need to lay her down in our bed till she falls asleep and then we can leave her for 1 - 2.5 hours.  She is still a light sleeper so her sleep can be interrupted easily.  She also passes out in the car if we are out, that is good.  At night we bring her to her room, read stories, listen to some soothing music and then she falls asleep.  We adjusted her crib to a day bed so she is no longer afraid to sleep in it.  We need to sneak out, she sleeps for about 4-5 hours and then wakes up crying.  She does not want to be alone.  I am sure she shared her bed and her room with other kids and is used to the sounds and warmth of others.  Lucy sleeps through the night if she is in our bed.  

Pictures back home

Pictures from around the neighborhood, celebrating Chinese New Year and Tết Nguyên Đán, and hanging out with friends and family over the past 4 weeks.

One month ago today....

It really is amazing that only one month has gone by since we first held Lucy in our arms.  I could not imagine life without her now, but yet the memories of January 6, 2013 will be in our hearts forever.  Lucy has changed so much and the scared little one from 4 weeks ago is blossoming into a happy, fun, curious and smiley toddler.  She is lovely and warms your heart when she giggles and flashes you  smiles.

Lucy is settling well in her new home.  She enjoys all the toys and books in the house, loves the stairs, and spends lots of time exploring the rooms.  Lucy's routine starts with waking up around 8 am, breakfast shortly after, play time, snack, play time, lunch around 12, nap for 2 - 3 hours (unless we are out then it is a short cat nap), snack, playtime, dinner at 6, snack, bath and bed time.  Bath time is one of her favorite times now.  As you can see Lucy likes to snack, whatever we give her she eats and likes to copy what her sister has.  Yesterday it was a fight over a small baggie full of carrot sticks and the other day a freak out over salt and vinegar chips!  You can tell when Lucy is sleepy as her cranky mood sets in. Lucy gets about 11 hours sleep at night so I think she is doing well.

I would say that our 1st week back was about beating the jet lag, waking up in the middle of the night to eat and play.  Week 2 was not a great week as it was all about being sick and high fevers.  Week 3 is about trying to get into a routine.  I think we are doing pretty well.  Kyla is settling into her 3 day a week pre-school, its for 4 hours a day and its good for her to go somewhere to play and learn.  The teachers are awesome and she loves it.  We also went swimming as a family and it was fun.  Lucy loved the pool and soaking her feet in the hot tub most.

Today I got Kyla to her pre-school by 9 am and Lucy and I headed off to the local Family Place (community center for little ones) which is awesome for her.  She can play with and around other kids her age and participate in the story time.  Lucy loves being out and you can see how she is around new faces and strangers, she only plays shy for 5 minutes then happily plays and smiles at all the people around her.

We have visited with family in friends over that past week and Lucy has done really well.  She knows she is getting special attention and eats it up.  She is now going to a select group of people and is ok if she wanders away from me and Troy for a few minutes.  Lucy is recognizing uncles, aunts and cousins.  She is doing well in large crowds, which is a good thing as we have a huge family that likes to get together often, to eat food!

This picture is of the girls heading out for pre-school and Family Place.

 Dinner time fun!

Family and Friends:

My rock

As I have posted over the past 6 weeks from my point of view on our experience, I wanted to share how I did not do this trip on my own.  I want to dedicate this one to Troy.

For those have gone through this type of trip you know that it is a life changing event, emotions are heightened, there are many unexpected or uncomfortable moments, your are jet lagged, your food intake is out of whack, you miss your own bed, and at times you lose it.  What I have been reminded of during this trip is that my husband is pretty awesome.  I already knew that as we have been together for over 20 years, but I realized how great we really are as a team in this type of life changing event.

Troy was there for me when I was not sane or strong enough, kept me calm when I was unraveling, and he is a great daddy to both of the girls.  We just jumped into parenting 2 kids instead of 1 overnight and we did pretty great balancing the needs of both girls.

I am so grateful to have a great husband.

Lucy is better and our goal with going into week #3 of being home is that we get into a schedule.

Sickness

It has not been a good week.  Lucy had a fever for 6 days with cough and is getting better. Two visits to the doc and lots of Tylenol then Advil later, she is now on antibiotics.  It is tough as you know her immune system is probably low and the travel and changes are taking a toll on her.

At least she is starting to move about a bit, though prefers to be held.

I was sick as well and now Kyla is feeling under the weather.  At least she is not hit as hard as Lucy.

Lucy is starting to say a few more words, mama, dada for sure and is trying to copy other words.  She understands phrases like, go give this to dada. She waves bye bye when people are leaving.  We are reading to her at night and she gets to watch the shows that Kyla likes.  When she is feeling better we can focus on a few words a day.

Big sister report

If I were Kyla this is what she might say about her little sister.

• I like the idea of having a little sister
• I care about her and want to kiss and hug her but sometimes she pushes me away
• I like making my sister laugh, coz when I laugh she laughs with me.  And when I cry, she copies that too
• I don't like it when she copies me sometimes
• I don't like her playing with some of my favourite toys so my mama and dada told me to hide these toys in my room and close my door so Lucy can't get to it
• I like to take a bath with her because we both play for a long time
• I want to sit on mama's lap too but Lucy is usually there
• I get angry when Lucy gets in my way
• I like screaming really loud with my sister, it is fun and mama and dada don't like it very much so it's funny
• I like howling with my sister when we pretend to be doggies
• I get jealous sometimes but I know mama and dada love me to the moon and back

Lucy loves to dance

There are so many things that we are discovering about our little girl.

She hears music and she moves to the beat with a happy smile.  Lucy Loves it when baba waltzes with her and spins around the room.

She is not afraid of the toilet, and is happy to spend the time with me singing her songs while she sits on the potty.

She does love the bath now.  A few days ago our first attempt was slow, Lucy watched Kyla in the tub for a few minutes before I could wet her hands, then let her sit on the edge of the tub with pj top on, then step in.  Yup she bathed with top on, but we got her at least standing and playing for 20 minutes.  Tonight she screamed when I pulled her out, she was starting to wrinkle.

She gets jealous of her sister when we are holding Kyla and she wants to be held. She will push, bite and punch, which I think she had to do at the Institute with the other kids.

She loves Cheerios, but which baby does not.

She has slept in her crib only twice and the rest of the time she would rather fall asleep in our arms and it's tough to put her down in the crib as she startles and wakes up.

She has visited with some aunts, uncles and cousins and warms up with the women quite quickly, the guys are not having any luck.  I guess it's because she has not had a lot of men in her life and plenty of females caring for her.  Now there is a contest and I need to find a prize for the first man in the family that Lucy will go to.  Don't worry, nobody is forcing the situation and all the guys are being very respectful.  It's cute as all they wanna do is love her. I do have to be aware though that every time one of the women who have carried her leave she gets a bit upset. I don't want to be over sensitive but I need to keep an eye on this.

She has been eating really well and already I see a change with her skin and small pot belly forming.  Congee with veg and protein (whatever we are eating) has been a daily staple but I think that she would rather feed herself.  I gave her a bowl with ice cream and a spoon tonight and she went to town.  We will have a few messy meals ahead of us, it will be fun.

She has been out and about accompanying big sister at her gymnastics and ballet this week and has travelled well.  No issues with the car seat or stroller.

She likes to sleep in our bed and when she wakes up she reaches over to her sleeping baba and kisses him and snuggles.  We are both so amazed with the affection she is showing us, how can you be mad with being wakened by kisses in the middle of the night.

She wakes in the morning with the sweetest smiles and hugs.

Overall a great week and we are heads over heels in love with this little person who has joined our family.

Ahhhh home

After an uneventful flight, kids got 4-5 hours sleep, Troy and I were uncomfortable, time seemed to tick along slowly.  Usually happens when you want to be home so bad. Overall the kids were great and we were happy to see Siw and the boys at the airport to greet us with Canadian flags.  I had to work hard to hold back the tears.

Walt picked us up and we were enjoying a home cooked meal thanks to Haydee and Mimi.

Sunday and Monday were a blurr and with the kids both wide awake and hungry between 2 and 5 am, it was fun trying to keep sane.  They were waking up at around 1pm!  It's been six days now and we are much better.  Both kids wake up in the middle of the night, but stay in bed with lights off.  The trick was that once you can get 3 meals in during the day, the chances of hunger in the middle of the night were lessened.  Troy and I have been doing pretty good attending to calls in the night and usually end up sleeping with one kid each.

Lucy has slept in her crib a few times, but prefers to fall asleep in your arms, nuzzled into our neck and does not want to be put in her crib.  She almost needs to be asleep for 2 hours before you can slip away.  Then she sleeps lightly so any movement or noise she will wake and toss and turn for a few hours.  Tonight I took Wahlee's advice and laid out a thick quilt on the floor, where I layed with her till she dosed off.  Strange how she does not wake when I cough violently, but the moment I try to move her she scrambles to get back on top of me and whimpers till she falls asleep again.  At this point I can not let her cry for more than a minute.  She gets so upset when it looks like we are going to leave her room without her.

Other than that we have a happy little girl who is discovering so much this week.  Like a telephone and how a voice can come out of it, and how it beeps when you push buttons.  Lucy loves all the toys and space she has now.  OK we have safe guarded with baby gates as she loves the stairs and has not quite mastered crawling down backwards, she prefers to walk straight down without knowing that she will roll at the speed she goes.

Farewell China

There were definitely moments where I thought about Lucy leaving China, that we are taking her away from her homeland to start her life in her new country.

We are grateful for Lucy and that our wait for her was absolutely worth it.  There are no regrets.  I however think about her birth mum and know that it was a tough decision for her to leave Lucy almost 2 years ago.  I am grateful for this precious gift, but in the same breath sad for her loss.  I read a book last November that has helped me better understand what some mothers from China have gone through in making these decisions.  "Message from an Unknown Chinese Mother: Stories of Loss and Love", by Xinran.  One quote that stands out, The mother’s of girls are all heartsick....Yes I was in tears to learn the stories of what these women have had to endure.

I want to somehow send Lucy's birth mum a message through an angel to let her know......that her baby will be safe and loved.

Thanks China for a great trip.  We will be back.

Last Day in China

Yesterday we were at the Silk Market for a bit of shopping and out for a wonderful celebratory Peking duck dinner at http://www.elite-concepts.com/Promotions/1949/DuckDeChine.htm Duck de Chine.  It was an amazing meal in a very beautiful restaurant, ok it could have been really romantic but with 2 kids you almost have to laugh when the restaurant staff graciously start replacing the fine china and duck ornaments on the table with cute plastic plates and cups for the kids.  The kids ate well, but had to do a few laps in the restaurant to burn off energy, thank goodness it is such a large space.  The duck was heavenly and we would recommend this highly as a must go to place.  We really enjoyed it and welcomed the fantastic food.

It's 3:30 am the day we leave and I can't sleep.  Our trip is almost over and I am really looking forward to being home.  We miss the comforts of our cozy place and look forward to getting into a schedule with the two kiddies.  The stress of being in a hotel is getting to all of us.  We don't want Lucy thinking that this is the norm!  We definitely could have come home 2 days ago, but have just tried to enjoy our relaxing pace in Beijing focusing on us as a family unit.

Yesterday Kyla finally verbalized that the most great thing about coming to China was Lucy.  But later on in the day she said, mama, Lucy always wants to hold your hand and I want to hold your hand too.  I miss you mama.  When Lucy irritates Kyla we have tried to explain to her that Lucy does not understand English yet and that she is a baby and needs to learn a lot from her.  It will be interesting to watch how their sisterly relationship forms in the next few years.

Lucy's progress has been great.  She is so sweet and loves to smile.  I can see why people think she is shy, as when people catch her attention and she does not want to get eye contact she turns her head so as to say, you don't get to see me smile.  But really most of the time she has this great big smile that is contagious and this sweetness about her that is hard to describe.  When she is tired she nuzzles her head into your chest and falls asleep.  Lucy has grown attached to this white bear we bought her for Christmas and holds it as she falls asleep.  When she wants more food she says "neh" loudly so you know that she means business.  She has begun to mimicking certain sounds and words.  Definitely understands "up".   We noticed that when Chinese people talk to her she does not reply, maybe her way to say, I don't know you so all you will get is this blank stare. She is eating less congee and loves trying food out, of course typical of a 2 year old, if she does not like it she spits it out.  She loved the duck last night!  Lucy loves to walk and I have to share her old person stance as she walks with her hands behind her back, she must have picked this up from the seniors at the Institute. Along with the nasal clearing noise sound she makes!  Thank goodness she does not follow it up with the actual horking.

Well I better try to get back to sleep. It's only 4 am. Next Post will be back home in a few days. Not really looking forward to a long flight, but we hope the kids keep their China sleep schedule tonight, that would just be great!

We have so much to be thankful for and embrace that this is where our path in life was going to take us. We are truly blessed.

Lucy is a Canadian Citizen!

Done!  All we have to do is fill out one more form back home, receive her citizenship certificate and apply for her passport.  Way easier this time around.  All we have to do is ensure that when Lucy has a kid of her own, that her child is born in Canada to grant that child automatic citizenship or else that child MAY not have citizenship or belong to any country.

Today we went shopping at the Pearl Market.  Only got into one physical moment with a sales lady who wanted me to sell a Louis Vuitton wallet.  She grabbed my arm and the stroller and said come on lady I will give you a great price, after 5 minutes of me telling her I didn't want one, she let me go.  Troy just stood there and laughed as I was man handled.  I was laughing too so it was kinda funny.  There was zero respect for personal space, this would not fly back home and it would be physical harassment!  ;)

Random pics of the girls

Bad air in Beijing

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57564051/nasa-releases-images-of-beijing-air-pollution/

Well I have been told by a few people that it was bad, but man were we surprised to learn how bad it really is.

Now we're will make a huge effort to stay in doors. How come I am feeling so stuffed up and yucky all of a sudden.

Last of official requirements complete

Yesterday we boarded the oversized van with another Canadian couple and their baby from the same agency at 9 am to go to the medical clinic for Lucy's check up.   This process is not required for the Citizenship route, but we wanted to get it done anyway so that we could make sure she is ok and that there is nothing to be concerned about.  The doctors office was fully decked out with toys so both girls enjoyed our visit.

Lucy was measured and weighed and she is 10.5 kg. so she has gained weight since her last medical check.  Hard to really confirm how much as they may have weighed her with clothes, but for sure 3 lbs in 6 months.

The doctor noted: developmental milestones - slightly delayed motor skills; small bald spot on scalp; slightly congested nasal mucus (boogers) but otherwise the doctor noted that Lucy was doing well and shows to be attached to us already.  Lucy is just above the 15th percentile for her age based on the WHO Child Growth Standards.  It will be interesting to see how much this changes in the next 6 months and years to come.  She eats really well so I am not that concerned, we just need to get home and feed her lots of protein!

The doc was lovely and very gentle with Lucy, spoke to her in mandarin and just made us feel at ease.  Yes she is Filipina.

The next appointment of the day was to the Canadian Embassy.  Troy went in with all the required docs and 45 minutes later was done.  We pick up Lucy's visa on Wednesday afternoon and we are done.  WOW I am relieved and surprised.  The process for Vietname just seemed so much more stressful.  Or maybe because we have done this before, we were so much more relaxed and really the guides have done a lot of the work to make sure we had everything in place.

So now we have 3.5 days to check out the rest of Beijing and chill out.  Lucy has a running nose and is sneezing lots so we should make sure she gets her rest.  No more missing her naps.

Yay Lucy slept in her crib last night!

Beijing sites - part 1

Our first day was spent at the Great Wall and the Summer Place.  We decided to use a service with hotel because travelling with 2 kids under 4 on a tour bus all day would not be that pleasant.

http://www.mutianyugreatwall.net/. This is where we went for our bucket list experience.  A couple of notes to add, the chair lift experience holding a child is scary and not very safe.  Probably the most unsafe thing I have done with a kid in my arms.  If you are afraid of heights and your kid likes to squirm, don't do the lift.  The experience was truly amazing, but a challenge with a 2 year old who is not stable on her feet and a 4 year old who wants to run but is hindered by the uneven steps on a steep climb or decent.  It's winter time here so it was not clear and the wall was icy and slippery in a lot of the spots. So next time we come the kids will be 12  and 14 and they can go wild!  The wall is one of the most amazing things we have seen and look forward to our next trip when we can take better advantage of its splendour.  Maybe in the spring or fall? ;)

http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/880 Absolutely beautiful!  But dang cold.  The lake was frozen and though there were of signs saying "stay off the Ice". There must have been 200 some people walking, skating, playing in the middle of the lake.  We were only there for 1 hour, but really that is all we could take as we're were all freezing.